REPRISE OF CHRISTMAS 1993(ish) (Cheri)

When we were preparing to move, I ran across a Christmas letter that I wrote in the early 1990's.  Being a little lazy, I'm posting some excerpts here.

Image credit:  Getty Images/Flickr RF 

"As I may have mentioned, the law firm I work for represents school districts, which means that my every waking moment is filled with thoughts of education and the law.  In order to avoid breaking the fragile train of my thoughts, I've decided to share our own personal secrets in the form of a True/False test.

1.     ____ T   ____ F     As you know, Mark has become a bicycle masochist.  However, self-inflicted torture has become insufficient for him, and we bought a tandem bicycle in September.  Now, on a typical weekend, we cover ourselves with multiple spandex garments, helmets designed to do permanent damage to one's hair, and the appropriate leather accessories, and take off for a few hours of dual ecstasy.  After three to five hours of on- or off-road travel, hopefully we will find ourselves back at home, surveying our sunburns, instead of on some trail in Timbucktoo, inspecting dual flat tires.

2.     ____ T   ____ F     I recently joined the local chapter of Towel Folders Anonymous.  The other night, I couldn't find any billable work laying around the house, so I spent the entire evening running around folding and refolding towels, ensuring that each was folded with its bound edges carefully hidden inside and that the piles were arranged in gradated color schemes.  (Luckily I haven't used my china recently, or I would have had to stay up late in order to stack each plate and bowl so that the patterns are facing exactly the same direction.)   I called my father and told him that I had good news and bad news.  I reminded him of the phrase which he often repeated to me as a child:  "Anything worth doing is worth doing right."  The good news is that the phrase stuck; the bad news was that it can ruin one's entire adult life.  Towel Folders Anonymous has a long way to go with me.

3.     ____ T   ____ F    Joining the refinancing frenzy, we bared our economic souls to the local savings and loan.  [Remember those???]  This was a particularly gratifying experience.  We had thought that we had the record for the smallest home known to man.  Turns out, however, that the appraiser states that we have 60 square feet less than we thought we had purchased, and our house is smaller than the swimming pool of one of Mark's cousins.

4.     ____ T   ____ F    Kink, our beautiful part-Burmese cat, has an unusual disposition.  One moment she fills the room with her purrs while you stroke her, and the next moment, all nearby human body parts become fair game.  (Many of you may still be nursing your wounds.)  Although this trait has made her unpopular with our friends and relatives, it has become highly lucrative for us.  After central Pacific Grove joined the "Neighborhood Watch" program, our neighbors offered to pay us if we would allow Kink to patrol the neighborhood.  We don't allow her to wear a name tag, because we are afraid of becoming the victims of injury-related lawsuits, but it doesn't matter.  She keeps coming back to the house anyway."

Back to the present . . .  Most of the quiz was pretty much true -  maybe not the Neighborhood Watch part - but life is more mellow now.

We are on our way to see part of Mark's family for Christmas, and wish you and yours a very, very Merry Holiday!